I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
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