I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Randomize
