I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
