i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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