shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
