I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
