Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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