If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
