Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
