did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
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