I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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