I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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