I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
