you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
