I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
