Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize