Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize