Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
