What did we do last night that was yellow?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
