# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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