Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize