Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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