Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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