3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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