Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
