I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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