oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
