I love black thongs
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
