It was confusing and full of hummus
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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