It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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