she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
