I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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