apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
