i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
