I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
