chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
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