Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Randomize
