I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
