Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
