I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
