We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
