Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
