You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
