I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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