Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
