the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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