i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
