Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
