How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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