If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
