Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
