I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
