Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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