drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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