the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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