Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Randomize
