You really coming over, don't trick.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
