Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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