I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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