More tranny stories later!
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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