He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
